Valuing vulnerability in teams
A friend of mine shared a quote this week from one of my intellectual crushes, Adam Grant of Wharton Business school. In his latest book, Think Again, Grant has said that:
"If knowledge is power, knowing what we don't know is wisdom."
Wouldn't all teams be better if each of us were able to be more wise interacting with wiser leaders and colleagues? Why, then is it so hard to admit what we don't know? Many of us operate with the assumption that we are supposed to be right, supposed to have all of the answers and to execute on the right strategy. In that case, admitting what we don't know opens us up to looking (or feeling) weak or incompetent. It's an invitation for our imposter syndrome to ramp up. It makes us feel vulnerable.
This vulnerability is a secret weapon in teams. While, it isn't immediately obvious, vulnerability:
Is both a product and promoter of psychological safety, which is linked with high performance teams
Allows teams to explore more options more quickly, which is valuable in a fast changing world
Accelerates a learning environment, which is essential to staying relevant
Much like being disciplined, vulnerability is one of those things that seems easy to talk about, to admire in others and to acknowledge as useful. As we all know, though, it's much harder to be vulnerable than to admire or advocate for vulnerability. Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, author and presenter, insightfully points out that there is a direct connection between being vulnerable and being courageous. Another relevant Brene Brown quote on this is that:
"Vulnerability is not about winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up even when you can’t control the outcome."
Letting go of the need to win and the need to be right is hard work. Reframing vulnerability as a courageous act rather than a weakness is a start. Continuing to role model vulnerability ourselves and supporting the courage of others to be vulnerable (without getting patronising!) is a skill worth cultivating with and for our teams. It's a pathway to unlocking the collective wisdom of our teams.
Some questions for you to consider or ask within your teams:
Is it reasonable to expect anyone (including yourself) to have all of the answers to the most important challenges your team faces?
Can you give an example of a courageous act that did not require vulnerability? (This is a question from Brene Brown, not me)
What are you able to admit that you don't know...and how might you grow this list to include more significant items? (Apologies for this double-barreled question!)
What stops you from admitting to others what you don't know?
You can hear these two topics in discussing this (and other) matters in the latest episode of Brene Brown's Dare to Lead podcast. Thanks to Sarah for pointing it out!